I havenât written anything in a long time now, and Iâm not sure whatâs making me do it now. When I say long time , I mean it. It is probably two years or so the last the time I penned down or typed out âstuffâ . Well, you see I do not know whether or not I just stopped writing or did I in reality not feel anything at all. There is also another thought , maybe I felt too much, and didnât know the words for what I was going through.
Itâs almost midnight now, Iâm lying down on my bed, trying to sleep, surprisingly ( well not so much ) I feel my neurons firing at top speed. Passing all sorts of information, my anxiety, my fears, my dreams, my insecurities, my overthinking etc etc etc . At the same time I find myself thinking, where did I lose my mindfulness. When exactly did the fear that if I pause and breathe and just exist for a while , Iâd be drowning in the sea of failures get imprinted in my head.
I look around me and I see lots of people in the same rat race as me. Yes, Iâm a part of it, and itâs sad. I want to crawl my way out of it. I want to advocate that itâs okay to take things slow, itâs okay to do things in our own time, not all of us are programmed the same way, itâs okay to have few bumps.
Everyday I have this constant urge to finish everything off , and then rest. My brain cells go â alright letâs finish a weekâs worth of work in a day and take break the next 6 days yohoooâ. Why ? Well thatâs how the urban culture is these days . Work your arse off on weekdays and party like no tomorrow on weekends. But for a consistent and easily demotivated being like me, It does not help. At all.
And I keep getting reminded by my amazing sister , to think myself as a baby, start taking a step towards my goal a little everyday, not bother about others, just focus on my steps. Take steps everyday, be consistent, donât try to master things in a day. Mostly, look at a bigger picture, a year or two spent on growing wonât matter in life. As long as you end up where you are happy and content.
May be this post feels like a lot of scattered feeling , but I do know there are many out there , like me, wanting to take things slow but too afraid to drop out of the race around. Many out there who think maybe if I put effort the next two days I canât relax t he next three. But honestly thatâs not how it works. All the five days need a balance. And itâs okay to be slow. You arenât competing with anyone. Youâre just getting yourself better. Youâre growing. And thatâs whatâs important. YOUR GROWTH.

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